Trauma-based & Family Psychotherapy For Angry, Anxious, Depressed, and Frustrated Families

Codependency: The Powerful Trap of Unhealthy Relationships

Searching for answers

Understanding the powerful dynamics of relationships is important to the health and sustainability of your relationship.

What is codependency? If you had to describe it, could you? Most people are able to describe what they think codependency is due to the laymen understanding of the phenomenon.

This article and video will discuss this topic further.

Most people define codependency in multiple ways. I tend to define codependency as a fusion of character, emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. The relationship is so unhealthy and dominated by a lack of identity (from one or both partners) that it is difficult for others to figure out who is making the major decisions and/or expressing their own thoughts and feelings.

However, the clinical definition of codependency is a bit different. The clinical term emphasizes the fusion of two people at an unhealthy level. This unhealthy (and often abusive) fusion can lead to the same thoughts, feelings, and belief systems. In a way, codependency can look like the concept “traumatic bonding.”


Example case study

I once counseled a young lady who was in a very unhealthy codependent relationship. She struggled with identifying her own thoughts and feelings which led to her friends capitalizing on the fact that they could no longer trust her opinions because she had begun to think and sound like her boyfriend. Sadly, this “boyfriend” was someone she only dated for the purpose of “having someone to talk to.” There was no real connection and the relationship lacked emotional and psychological depth. The relationship had deteriorated into a sibling-like relationship. They were roommates. They were siblings. They were no longer lovers or partners in a relationship headed somewhere positive.


I talk more about this in the video below:


So what has been your experience in your relationships during holiday time?

Sadly, commercialism has led most people to believe that the holiday season is not worth the effort unless you have friends and family. But not everyone does and we need to model being okay with that.

I encourage you to share this video with someone who may benefit from this information.  Please hit the thumbs up button to make this video available to others who may benefit from it.


Stay tuned for next week’s post as I will discuss ways to overcome codependent relationships.

As always, I wish you well

*CORONA VIRUS UPDATE1050 Lincoln Way, Ste 1 - Pittsburgh PA

States across the nation are passing laws, reducing restrictions, and enacting new regulations to help support the transition from stay-at-home orders to the normal flow of life again.

To keep everyone at Anchored Child & Family Counseling safe, I will only be opening the office for in-person sessions 1 day of the week. The other days of the week will consist of teletherapy sessions until the mask wearing restrictions are reduced or eliminated and corona virus cases have gone down.

My office assistant and I will be monitoring insurance policies for any changes to corona-related cost share, copayment, and coinsurance policies. I will be checking and rechecking insurance policies to ensure you will be covered for teletherapy. At this time, all major insurance companies (UPMC, Highmark, Aetna, Optum/United, and Cigna) are continuing to provide coverage for teletherapy into September 2020.

Please check (the practice website) for updates and my business facebook page at:

Please continue to stay safe!
Thank you



Támara Hill, MS, NCC, CCTP, LPC

Licensed Child & Family Therapist
National Board Certified Counselor
Internationally Certified Trauma Therapist

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