I have had my fair share of experiences with toxic people. By definition, a toxic person is anyone who creates trouble within relationships. By my personal definition, toxic people are those who strive to overcome almost every person they encounter to a point of destroying the other person. These people not only lack compassion and empathy, but also consideration for the feelings and thoughts of others. As a result, they take no responsibility for how they treat others and often do not apologize for wrong-doing. Sadly, victims of toxic people end up either losing their own mind or their own identity. The behaviors of the toxic person “kills” the spirit and soul of the victim.
It wasn’t until I began to fully understand two essential concepts that I recognized I was a victim of toxic behavior.Gas-lighting is a tactic used to cause someone to second guess themselves, doubt their inner senses, or become confused by what the toxic person is saying vs. how they are feeling. It is an evil way to create doubt in a person who is very receptive and intuitive about social interaction. Gas-lighting is a manipulation, control, and deceptive tactic. It’s goal is to conquer through mind control and mind-games. This makes the toxic person evil, perhaps even, wicked.
Love-bombing is another concept I learned through personal experience in many relationships. Love-bombing is basically any attempt of the toxic person to control you by showing you with love, affection, and intense emotions. The person may begin to make you feel vulnerable, co-dependent, or truly understood but at the same time, you may have intense feelings that make you feel you need to be on guard. Those intense emotions leave you handicapped because you can’t “marry” the two ideas together. How can the person be so affectionate and trigger deep emotions and be evil? This is known as cognitive dissonance. You can’t hold two opposing views in your mind all at once. It is not only perplexing but depressing.
Stay tuned for my next article Wednesday, May 5th on my blog on 15 tools you need to overcome a toxic person. Find that article on: blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers.