6 responses

  1. Alexandria Hicks
    February 1, 2017

    I have suicidal thoughts.

    • Támara
      February 2, 2017

      Hi Alexandria, I’m sorry to hear this. Have you mention them to anyone – a teacher, a friend, a family member, a friend? If not, perhaps finding a good therapist may be helpful. Finding a therapist is easy if you put your zipcode into the search box of http://www.psychologytoday.com or therapyvibe.com.
      If I can help, let me know.
      Take care

  2. Velveteen Rabbit
    February 3, 2017

    You have such a soothing voice, Tamara. This webinar reminds me of myself when I was in 8th grade. I really liked my Language Arts class and was, in general an excellent student in that class and a mediocre student in math and science classes. I also was always well behaved in school.
    I was really involved in my language arts class and thought highly of my teacher because she made class interesting and cared about her students. During a period of particularly horrible sexual abuse, I just am now recalling how desperate I felt at that time. Very different from my usual because I never would show any sign of pain — emotional or physical. But I gave up. I just remember feeling so alone and wanting to tell my teacher but I was scared. I remember just shutting down, putting my head on my desk, my hair covering my face partially. The teacher ultimately became concerned but I denied anything was wrong. She asked if I was ill and I said no. I remember thinking “Ask the right question and maybe…just maybe I might dare to tell you.”
    It was not her fault, there wasn’t anyone talking about it back then. I remember I was scared I was pregnant. In part of your webinar you mentioned that a teacher should contact the parents if a child is suicidal and has a plan. That makes sense in most cases but in my situation where the stepfather was the source of pain and home was the scariest place to be, that would have sent me over the edge most likely!
    Anyway, a very informative presentation!

    • Támara
      February 3, 2017

      Thank you so much Lori. 🙂
      It sounds as if you have struggled for the majority of your life with trauma, depression, anxiety, feelings of isolation, etc. That is very difficult and emotionally overwhelming. But the fact that you were a good student doesn’t surprise me! I have noticed a pattern in many of my young clients which is that their “symptoms” often are triggered at home or in the community and not in school. 1 reason is that school is so structured and overflowing with supportive or at least somewhat attentive adults. Home and community life is so different. Another reason is that most kids, most likely like you were, are very intelligent and their emotional challenges have little influence over their smarts.

      You’re right about teachers not asking the right questions. 1 wrong questions, judgmental tone of voice, etc. could make the kid turn away. That’s a lost opportunity.

      Take care 🙂

      • Velveteen Rabbit
        February 3, 2017

        Hi Tamara,
        What’s funny is that I really didn’t feel I was struggling with depression, anxiety or isolation back when I was in the midst of it because I was kept busy with home, school and church as well as babysitting once I was old enough. I was also feeling that I had to keep the secrets in my family because I had been told others would be hurt if I didn’t.
        Another factor is that I just automatically “wore this mask” so that I could fit in as best as I could. Then again, I had zero mental health background back then so there were likely times I felt bad but didn’t know enough to call it depression. I think that’s what happened in 8th grade, my usual ways of coping failed when I was in that safe class and I just remember dreading having to go home and wishing I could stay with my teacher.
        Tamara, you aren’t going to believe this one!! Talk about nerve!! Guess who just called me as I’m typing this? My former stepfather (my abuser) . I didn’t recognize the phone number so he left a message on my voice mail saying “hey, I heard you are good at research and stuff… I was wondering if you can find me a buyer for my van. It is getting older and needs a transmission. Ok, catch you later. Bye.” Granted he is very old now and harmless but it definitely has raised my anxiety!!

      • Támara
        February 8, 2017

        Wow Lori. So odd to get a call from your step-father. I would question how this is making you feel and question if you are strong enough to deal with him right now. I’ve had family or close friends contact me out of the blue and because I did not question my ability to handle it, I ended up with anxiety and sad/low mood. Depending on your relationship with him, this call would not only trigger anger in me but also suspicious -ness
        Take good care 🙂

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