Trauma-based & Family Psychotherapy For Angry, Anxious, Depressed, and Frustrated Families

When your world caves in under you: 8 realizations

English: rain
English: rain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Life is painful. Simple as that. There are disappointments, unfair circumstances, never ending pain, separations, and death. Not to be a sadist or pessimistic, mostly everyone on this earth will experience pain. No one is exempt. My mother use to say “if it hasn’t happened yet, it will.” It’s inescapable. But I have learned through personal hurts there are a few things my heart, soul, and mind must experience before I can move on with strength. You may also find that these tips can help you move forward:

  1. Learn from the hurt: It can be so difficult trying to process a painful situation and then learn from it. But learning from the situation has a way of providing closure and helping us to move forward. Learning may take a very long time. For me, it isn’t until I go through the experience, experience all the emotions of the experience, and accept it happened that I begin to learn. Don’t rush this process, but be open to it.
  2. Question: A lot of people have a lot of questions. Life is full of confusion. I’ve learned the strongest people are those who can move on beyond their questions and find purpose. Life is a big question mark! Don’t let this stop you from growing.
  3. Process: Processing a circumstance takes time and may take years until you get to a place of inner calm. I tend to process my thoughts and emotions through journaling or writing down my dreams. The human mind and soul are complex, take notes.
  4. Accept: Accept that you may never understand why something bad has happened. We aren’t super-human, neither are we capable of understanding all things that occur among our complex human existence. Only a Great Being can do so. In the meantime, it’s okay to have questions, but you cannot move forward until you realize you may never have an answer.
  5. Treatment: “Treatment” includes taking care of yourself with things that revive your heart, soul, and mind. You want to refrain from those things that make life worse in the long-term, but “good” in the short-term. Examples include drug abuse, alcohol, reckless behavior, self-injurious behavior, overeating, etc. Treatment requires self-care, not self-destruction.
  6. Move on: Once you process a situation, get through all of your questions (with or without an answer), accept the situation, and treat yourself, you can move on.
  7. Wait: One very wise thing my mother and pastor use to say to me was “sometimes in life you just have to wait.” Waiting means to cease from trying to change things that cannot be changed by You.

A final thing I learned through experience is that we all need:

8) An anchor: an anchor is anything that holds you and doesn’t let you fall. Technically, an anchor is a heavy object attached to a rope or chain. It is strong enough to hold a ship. Do you have an anchor? I encourage you to find one to hold on to. Could it be your family? Your children? God? Truth? Anything that can hold you is an anchor.

Take good care of yourself!

As always, I wish you well

*CORONA VIRUS UPDATE1050 Lincoln Way, Ste 1 - Pittsburgh PA

States across the nation are passing laws, reducing restrictions, and enacting new regulations to help support the transition from stay-at-home orders to the normal flow of life again.

To keep everyone at Anchored Child & Family Counseling safe, I will only be opening the office for in-person sessions 1 day of the week. The other days of the week will consist of teletherapy sessions until the mask wearing restrictions are reduced or eliminated and corona virus cases have gone down.

My office assistant and I will be monitoring insurance policies for any changes to corona-related cost share, copayment, and coinsurance policies. I will be checking and rechecking insurance policies to ensure you will be covered for teletherapy. At this time, all major insurance companies (UPMC, Highmark, Aetna, Optum/United, and Cigna) are continuing to provide coverage for teletherapy into September 2020.

Please check (the practice website) for updates and my business facebook page at:

Please continue to stay safe!
Thank you



Támara Hill, MS, NCC, CCTP, LPC

Licensed Child & Family Therapist
National Board Certified Counselor
Internationally Certified Trauma Therapist

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