Trauma-based & Family Psychotherapy For Angry, Anxious, Depressed, and Frustrated Families

When your world caves in under you: 8 realizations

English: rain
English: rain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Life is painful. Simple as that. There are disappointments, unfair circumstances, never ending pain, separations, and death. Not to be a sadist or pessimistic, mostly everyone on this earth will experience pain. No one is exempt. My mother use to say “if it hasn’t happened yet, it will.” It’s inescapable. But I have learned through personal hurts there are a few things my heart, soul, and mind must experience before I can move on with strength. You may also find that these tips can help you move forward:

  1. Learn from the hurt: It can be so difficult trying to process a painful situation and then learn from it. But learning from the situation has a way of providing closure and helping us to move forward. Learning may take a very long time. For me, it isn’t until I go through the experience, experience all the emotions of the experience, and accept it happened that I begin to learn. Don’t rush this process, but be open to it.
  2. Question: A lot of people have a lot of questions. Life is full of confusion. I’ve learned the strongest people are those who can move on beyond their questions and find purpose. Life is a big question mark! Don’t let this stop you from growing.
  3. Process: Processing a circumstance takes time and may take years until you get to a place of inner calm. I tend to process my thoughts and emotions through journaling or writing down my dreams. The human mind and soul are complex, take notes.
  4. Accept: Accept that you may never understand why something bad has happened. We aren’t super-human, neither are we capable of understanding all things that occur among our complex human existence. Only a Great Being can do so. In the meantime, it’s okay to have questions, but you cannot move forward until you realize you may never have an answer.
  5. Treatment: “Treatment” includes taking care of yourself with things that revive your heart, soul, and mind. You want to refrain from those things that make life worse in the long-term, but “good” in the short-term. Examples include drug abuse, alcohol, reckless behavior, self-injurious behavior, overeating, etc. Treatment requires self-care, not self-destruction.
  6. Move on: Once you process a situation, get through all of your questions (with or without an answer), accept the situation, and treat yourself, you can move on.
  7. Wait: One very wise thing my mother and pastor use to say to me was “sometimes in life you just have to wait.” Waiting means to cease from trying to change things that cannot be changed by You.

A final thing I learned through experience is that we all need:

8) An anchor: an anchor is anything that holds you and doesn’t let you fall. Technically, an anchor is a heavy object attached to a rope or chain. It is strong enough to hold a ship. Do you have an anchor? I encourage you to find one to hold on to. Could it be your family? Your children? God? Truth? Anything that can hold you is an anchor.

Take good care of yourself!

As always, I wish you well

*CORONA VIRUS UPDATE1050 Lincoln Way, Ste 1 - Pittsburgh PA

As we get closer to the middle of May states across the nation are passing laws, reducing restrictions, and enacting new regulations to help support the transition from stay-at-home orders to the normal flow of life again.

Unfortunately, Gov. Wolf hasn't reduced the mask wearing restrictions in Allegheny County. However, he has announced most of Western PA will be moving to the yellow phase beginning May 15. This means that we can slowly regain some normalcy.

But until the mask wearing restrictions are reduced or eliminated Anchored Child & Family Counseling will remain closed. I will be making small transitions back to the office over the course of summer and seeing some clients in-person based on need.The office will be open starting June 17, 2020 with the goal of remaining open until/if state laws change in response to Corona virus restrictions.

In the meantime, I will be continuing teletherapy sessions until mid-June. My office assistant and I will be monitoring your insurance policy to ensure that you will be covered for teletherapy and that your copayments will be waived. At this time, it appears that all major insurance companies (UPMC, Highmark, Aetna, Optum/United, and Cigna) are continuing to provide coverage for teletherapy.

Please check (the practice website) for updates and my business facebook page at:

Please continue to stay safe!
Thank you


Támara Hill, MS, NCC, CCTP, LPC

Licensed Child & Family Therapist
National Board Certified Counselor
Internationally Certified Trauma Therapist

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